It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
