Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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