i just google imaged poop.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
