PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize