What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
