Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he fucked my hip out of place.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize