she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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