Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
