i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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