fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
