Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
