Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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