i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
