I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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