we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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