Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
