do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
