my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
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