check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
