im drinking this country out of the recession.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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