Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
