I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
