Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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