Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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