Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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