god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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