420 ftw
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
