North Korea, Best Korea!
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
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