well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
