my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
