oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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