just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
