Whod you bang
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
