his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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