Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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