My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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