apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
