i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
pray to the hookup gods
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize