I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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