I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
my being single is dangerous.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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