Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
