hotel room ftw
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
