i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
