Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
