i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
