I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
