So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
