so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
There r osticjed everywhere
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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