is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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