Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
