You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
