Well douche your snatch and let's go!
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize