Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
