i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I would ride that face into the sunset
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
