they need to just BURY HIM!
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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