I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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