May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
