The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
