We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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