I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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