He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
