Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
