yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
