Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
