she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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