Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
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